Way Out

"We may insist as much as we like that the human intellect is weak in comparison with human instincts, and be right in doing so. But nevertheless there is something peculiar about this weakness. The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing. Ultimately, after endlessly repeated rebuffs, it succeeds. This is one of the few points in which one may be optimistic about the future of mankind."

-Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion

Ethics Without the Moral Code

"That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
Of any world where promises were kept,
Or one could weep because another wept."

-W. H. Auden

Play Your Cards Right

Life is a game of whist. From unknown sources
The cards are shuffled and the hands are dealt.
Blind are our efforts to control the forces
That though unseen are no less strongly felt.
I do not like the way the cards are shuffled,
But still I like the game and want to play
And through the long, long night, I play unruffled
The cards I get until the break of day.

In Memory

Take some time out from your busy schedule and tell those who are close to you that you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you. It will make them feel good and it will make you feel good as well.

As the years go by (with ever increasing speed), I have begun to realize how fragile life really is. I have seen too many friends and family members become memories for me not to realize that life can be snuffed from any one of us at any given moment. This is what lead me to begin this entry the way that I did. An expression of love and thankfulness for someone can be priceless if such an expression is the last made to that person.

I saw Ms. Portillo for the last time at the memorial service for Susan Kunkel of all places. I wish that I could have said something to her, but time got away from me and by the time we headed for the door, she had already gone home. Two weeks later when I found out that she had died, I wondered (and still wonder) what I could've said to her that day to let her know how much she meant to me and to a lot of students like me. It's sad, in a way, that we can grow to love and appreciate people the way that we do (according to human nature) and not be allowed certain opportunities for closure when time calls for change.

It is this change that has been so hard for me to deal with these past couple months. Most recently, I recieved word that a friend of mine, Ivan, hadn't woken up Wednesday morning. I know that Ivan will be profoundly missed by his family and by his church family. We got to know him over the past several months as a brother in Christ--always a smile on his face and a friendly handshake to extend your way. His energy and passion for ministry through music was palpable. When I see him again, I am going to thank him for being a good friend. When I see Ms. Portillo again (soon), I am going to thank her for being a good friend. Don't wait until then, though. Tell your friend what you appreciate in them. God forbid that you'll be thankful for it one day.

Give It A Rest

I'd like to take this time out while sitting at church with absolutely nothing to do to give some words of advice to anyone who reads this: Don't try and please everyone. Being a PK (preacher's kid), I feel as though I am qualified to give such advice as I've seen many good people leave the church because they don't necessarily conform to the "Adventist" agenda. Which is what, by the way?

I love pulling a reference from something that I've read because I feel smart. So here it goes: I'm reading a book about SNL. During its beginning, writers and producers didn't worry about the lines they'd be potentially crossing with sketches and short films. They just did it because that was what they wanted and who they were/are. They figured whoever appreciated what they did would tune and if anyone didn't care for it, they didn't have to watch. Now one of the longest running and most successful broadcasts in history, time as testified for the effectiveness of this technique. 

Happy Sabbath everyone! Eat haystacks.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia can hit you like a brick wall, can't it? It's quite possibly the best way to remember an event that was particularly good or enjoyable. Watching old family home-videos can be very entertaining and make for some good laughs. I'm sure you can't deny that watching old films of yourselves together creates a strong bond among you--a reminder of sorts that highlights the common history you all share.

Nostalgia, for me, is totally different. Something will set off a flood of [usually] pleasant memories that I find myself wishing I could relive. Walking back to my dorm room, I could get a whif of burning fur and be taken back to my childhood, walking through "Christmas Tree Lane" with my family on Christmas Eve. I can be listening to an old Odyssey episode and travel in my head back to a two bedroom apartment in Michigan, staring up at the springs of the bunk above me, listening so intently. Or having a scoop of Ghirardelli ice cream can trigger a time walking down Fisherman's Wharf in shorts and a sweater, laughing with good friends.

Moments that I obviously cannot relive--but how I wish I could! I suppose the present and future hold memories to come that I will no doubt cherish someday and wish I could relive then. Perhaps there is value in cherishing the "todays" and the "tomorrows."

Waldo's Last Stand

This is a video clip from the "Our Gang" comedy series featuring my grandpa as "Waldo" in a 1940 episode.