Priorities and Acting Your Age

My mom and I were talking this evening and we came to the conclusion that all Adventists are selfish, coniving idiots. Of course we don't really think this (at least I don't)--it just so happened that in the heat of our conversation we discovered that at every church we move to, there is always a group of people (very influential people) who just act like immature brats on an elementary school playground.

I'm tempted to go ahead and include the names of the parties involved, but to show that I am better than the low performance they exuded today, I will refrain. Today my dad and I were talking in the mothers room of our church and an army of Pathfinder mothers from our church came into "talk"/complain to him about something that he no doubt had nothing to do with.

A loud banging on the door interrupted our conversation and a mother entered and hastily asked if our conversation was done. My dad, assuming that things were finished (we pretty much were) said that I was just leaving and that they could come in. Knowing from experience that these people were probably here to complain about my dad's performance as pastor, I almost felt as if, to spite them, I should just tell them that I wasn't done and that they could have their time with him when I was done.

But I promptly left after my dad pretty much verbally ushered me out so these people could come in and harass him. I won't go into the specifics of the conversation they had (my dad filled me in later), but I will say that it was over a very childish issue that could've been solved by referencing something my mom would say when my brother and I fought as children: "You guys just need to get along!"

There were two things that disappointed me in this whole situation: the fact that my dad allowed his job as pastor for the past 10 years affect his perception of priorities, and the juvenile exploitation of my dad for their own selfish gain. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves my brother an I very much and that we are his priority. But I saw today that he didn't really have his priorities straight. I don't really fault him. More so, I fault the extremely insensitive and immature mothers that walked in like they owned the place. They think that because my dad is the pastor of their church, that he works for them and that they have priority of his time over mine. Who the hell do they think they are?

Last I checked, our churches aren't places for all the political bullshit that often leads to corruption in a congregational setting but a place where Christian believers can come together and worship together in community. But it has been my family's experience that we just can't find a church where that is the central focus. Where is our church going to these days? I guess that's the question that I need to answer and will need to decide for myself whether or not I want to be a part of that.

Teenage Years

I would like to take this time to memorialize my teenage years as it is the last day I will be one. I suppose if I think about it, I've come a long way from glasses, braces and acne; my cracking voice despite my apparent attempts to try and lower it so as not attract laughs when called on in class; and driving to school freshly licensed to show everyone I was growing.

This past weekend, I went in to get my license renewed and I felt old. It's still going to have the red strip that warns lazy bartenders I'm not old enough to drink, so I guess I still have some time before I join a water aerobics class or get myself a pair of orthopedic shoes.

But if this were 1981, I could be getting married tomorrow. Think of that!

Bhumibol Adulyadej, the Mission and the Thai People

If you have been watching the news lately, you know there has been trouble in the capital city of Thailand--yes the beautiful, serene country of Thailand where my family's mission efforts have been concentrated for the last 60 years.

In a nutshell, some Thai people want the current Prime Minister of Thailand, Samak Sundaravej, to resign and elect Somchai Wongsawat. I was just reading this morning that their demands have been met. The others want King Bhumibol Adulyadej to have absolute power as he did 60 years ago and do away entirely with Thai Parliament.

I don't know the politics behind the issues that are causing the riots, but what I do know is that Thailand has a lot of work that needs to be done on the mission front. This is why its people are so dear to my family's heart. We have student missionaries in Bankok and around the country right now and we also have trips planned in the near future so please keep the country of Thailand in your prayers as they are going through this difficult time.

Friendship Pool

Yesterday, I was talking with a close friend about the correlation between my social dillema and dating. When I say social dillema, I'm referring to my difficulty to make friends. This isn't something new. For many years now, after moving around so much, this problem has become something that I've grown accustomed to dealing with in the moving process.

I've analyzed to head-splitting extents why I have this problem. But now, I'm wondering if this problem has an affect on my love life. As it's been a while since I've really been with anyone, I find myself worrying about my ability to actually go out and find someone that's good enough for me. I've even entertained the idea of just going out and finding any random girl to prove to myself that I'm still capable. I mean, "If you don't use it, you lose it" right?

She (my friend) and I established that I'm the type of person that is satisfied with a small pool of friends. And after quickly assesing my personality, I'd say this is right. Knowing this, her solution for my problem was that someone (the right person) would come to me. I have my many doubts about this approach, but until I can muster up enough courage and get over my "anti-sociology", as my dad would say, it will have to suffice.

The Job of President: The Job of Americans

There is a certain beauty in doing a job well I have found over the past couple of weeks. Whether you are president of the United States or a cashier at a local Wendy's restaurant--there is a honor that can be taken away from doing a job well and doing it right. Lately I've been working the night shift at Wendy's which is less taking orders and customer interaction and more washing the most disgusting dishes you could imagine until around 1:30 in the morning. Hearing this you wouldn't imagine this to be a great and fabulous job, and you must know: it isn't.

Wanting to do a good job is something that needs to be before you can actually do a good job. One should try and do their best for their own satisfaction but it also takes motivation from others in order to do this effectively. I've had the privelage of working with a manager that motivates me to do well--not by badgering me or any of the sorts, but by having and making clear certain expectations of me. And walking out of the store in the middle of the night, I have that good feeling of a job well done.

I was reading an article in Newsweek this week and it was about the things the President has done right in spite of his 38% approval rating that has sustained for the past 23 months. It told of how the current administration has sort of turned things around after the 2004 election. But this is not justification for the blunders that have cost our country so much money and so much diplomatic damage that it will be very hard for the next Administration to undo as the article seemed to assume.

Now there may be some personal satisfaction for Bush himself in the fact that maybe he turned in the right direction on certain issues like the Iraq war and such, but the surplus that we had cannot be gained back over night and the reputation of the United States cannot be easily redeemed. In my opinion, Bush's presidency is that of failure and come January, I will be rooting for Barack to bring us back to where we need to be.

Sudden Death

My dog died yesterday. I came home and he was dead. No one was home and I was forced to deal with a rotting best friend on my own. He felt like nothing I had ever felt before--lifeless.

My parents and I were talking about how faithful he was. Our family has gone through alot in the past few years: a move, my going off to college, etc. But everytime we came home to undwind, he was always there waiting to chear us up with his pitiful "begger's face." Everytime I came home from college, he would be there to welcome me back and always push his way in first even though I'd have my hands and arms full of luggage. But I loved him for it.

He wasn't small but I always enjoyed it when he sat on my lap. Even though I could hardly breathe, I felt a sense of security with him there. Some nights I would come downstairs after not being able to sleep and just sit down on the couch with him and listen to his breathing as he slept. Steady and heavy.

I love him and miss him. The end.

Being Difficult

How weak does someone have to be in order to let someone else bring down their self-esteem? Though I shouldn't introduce you to the topic just there. I must specify: someone who degrades you verbally so that you begin to think down upon yourself. Is it just a poor image of one's self that allows this to happen or is there a greater cause? Depression, perhaps?

Of course we all know the common saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." But words do hurt. In fact, in my case and I'm sure in others, it seems like just the opposite is true. For me, it's one thing to hurt my person physically, but when your words or actions cut to my emotions, the pain caused seems to be much worse. Whether spoken elegantly or bluntly, the blade of degredation doesn't seem to be dulled and pierces and, somehow, reaches the deapest depths of souls and causes us to take a step back--we lose momentum.

So back to my question: Does one have to be weak in order for this to happen? Or is there a tough skin we need to envelope ourselves in to prevent ourselves from being vulnerable under attacks? And if there is such a skin, can it also hinder us? Can it negatively affect the way we interact with those around us who mean well?

Obillary: Taking Back the White House

For those of you who don't keep up with the news (although with today's technology, it would be hard to miss), Barack Obama secured the Democratic nomination for the run for the U.S. presidency. It is with this nomination that history has been made as being the first African-American to be elected the Democratic candidate for any U.S. presidential election. And, given the excitement that has come of this quite historic Democratic bid, I believe that Republican rival John McCain has reason to tremble in his orthopedic shoes. Save for his somewhat short resume, Senator Barack Obama has the vision and the drive to lead what has appeared to be a broken country back to its roots of prosperity and patriotism.

When Barack Obama chooses Hillary Clinton as his Democratic running mate sometime between now and the November elections, John McCain will be smart if he packs up the "Straight Talk Express" and begins mapping out the best route back to Arizona. And I say "when" because Obama, contrary to what many bitter Obama supporters choose to believe, really needs the support of the millions of Democrats who supported Hillary over the past 17 months who now say that in light of the Illinois Senator's victory will now switch over to the McCain side. Now I, as one and along with many others, believe that this could prove to be one of the biggest mistakes in our nations history and thus, I don't see the possibility in there being any other VP running-mate than Hillary Clinton (save for maybe Al Gore).

A couple days ago, Senator Obama and Senator Clinton met in Unity, New Hampshire (an appropriate meeting place for the occasion) to hold a rally for the sole purpose of uniting the Democratic party after an arduous, toe-to-toe battle for the Democratic nod. And I think that Hillary was spot on when in the conclusion to her speech, said these words, "...today and every day going forward, we stand shoulder to shoulder for the ideals we share...today we are coming together for the same goal: to elect Barack Obama as the next President of the United States."

That Other Piece

I am not nor have I ever been married. I would imagine that married life is where your life begins for it is with this person that you vow to spend the rest of your life. I am (for good reason) not ready to get married because I haven't found the right person. I have often struggled with the thought of there being over six billion people living on this planet and only one is perfect for us. Imagine putting together a puzzle that has six billion pieces. You have to find the one that fits together perfectly with the piece that you've been given and forcing them together is not an option--because in the end, the finished picture will be distorted.

I haven't a clue who I will end up with someday. I know that she is going to be perfect in every way, shape and form. But right now, there is some uneasiness in the uncertainty of what that "other piece" looks like; what shape, color, and texture it consists of; and what picture it will form?

CiliCali West Side

My friend, Jenn, and I went to a Christian rap concert on Friday night and it was awesome, to say the least. Or how would my G's say it? "Off the chain?" The feature of the night was a rapper, named T-Bone, who has won multiple Grammy and Dove awards in the Christian Hip Hop/Rap artist category. The first few hours were local artists including a group called GRITS--I have some of their stuff on my iPod, but T-Bone was who I was there for. But not only is he Christian, he is, in my opinion, the most talented rapper out there right now, on the Christian or secular charts.

When he came out on stage the crowd went crazy. There was this one kid next to me (who was white) who knew all the lyrics and was spittin' em out just as fast. It was quite entertaining. When he performed his song 'Ride Wit Me', in which the phrase, "...come ride wit a playa from the cili-cali west side..." is spat, I must admit that I gave a little "WOOT WOOT!"

The "west side" is where I'll be heading in a week from today. I'm packing up my car in the next few days here coming up and I'll be heading to Jenn's house to spend some time. Then on Sunday, once I pick up my brother from Midway, I'll drive back to California where I know I belong. As it will be hard to leave those whom I've grown close to back here, I look forward to going home with expectations that only time will redeem.

The Plight of the Next Generation Americans

Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers of our nation scrawled out, on parchment, our Constitution, outlining the “God-given” rights that we, as citizens of the United States, would be privileged. This Constitution states that sovereignty (or supreme power) is to be in the hands of the citizens of the United States. That supreme power, however, is put into place only by those Americans that actually practice their right to vote and go to the polls to put into power, persons who will lead this nation towards peace and success.

Our country (more specifically the electoral college) made a wrong decision in 2001 in electing George Bush as 43^rd president of the United States. And whether you’re a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or Independent, you must admit that the Bush Administration has caused the United States damage on both economic and diplomatic levels which will be difficult to set right, come January 2009. This is why the Presidential elections coming up in November is vital not only to our country, but to the world. If you fail to see this negligence of the Administration that has held the political rains of our nation for the past 7 years, you should then take a look at the facts.

Only shortly after being elected into office, George Bush lead us into a pointless war with Iraq (without the support of the United Nations) and in turn, ended up bankrupting the treasury and spending all the surplus we had enjoyed during Clinton’s time in office. Now, after five years of fighting in Iraq (a war that has now lasted longer than World War II), the United States is in $9.2 trillion—that’s right—trillion, in debt to other countries to fund our “efforts” overseas. This, in case you didn’t already assume, is the greatest national deficit in the history of the United States. In addition, during Bush’s first year in office, 2 million Americans lost their jobs, 80,000 alone in the month of March, 2008. He not only presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history, but also over the highest gasoline prices since the advent of automobiles and refused to use national reserves to ease costs at the pump. I don’t know what else can be said to relieve you of doubt besides only some of the facts presented here.

So a definite need for change is here. But there are numerous reasons why Americans in the past, especially young Americans like ourselves, have foolishly not exercised their right to vote. Many refer back to the elections in 2001, in which the Electoral College voted contradictory to what popular vote reflected as support for their argument that going to the polls is pointless. Now I as one would agree with most that the Electoral College should be abolished because of the fact that it takes away the rights that we have, as citizens, to pick our own leader. But until that happens, we can’t just throw our hands up in defeat—the College is going to choose the candidate even if there are 100 votes cast in the popular vote. So for the time being, we need to put our faith in those individuals that represent us in this electoral body.

Others tell me that their vote won’t make that much of a difference overall. If you are one of these, then listen up. If everyone had this mentality, then nothing would get done and our sense of national pride would spoil into a submissive outlook on an absolutist form of leadership. If we all followed the elections and gathered facts about each candidate, then we would be safer from the danger of voting for a candidate based on party affiliation and/or media attention. Better quality decisions would be made and more than likely, more voter turnout would result.

Those who so faithfully lead our country have the power that they do because we, the people, have placed them in power. It is our right to do so and we should use it in the best way we know how. There are three viable candidates in the race for the White House—each with pros and cons that can either help or hinder our current global situation. What’s your job? Study up—take action—see results.

This Is My Commandment

I am reading a book called Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis and so far, it is a great book. It is one of those books that is usually recommended for those who are having doubts about Christianity. C. S. Lewis, who used to be an atheist, presents in this book evidence supporting Christianity and how it must be true.

Just yesterday, I was reading about halfway through the book and he was talking about the commandment given to us by Christ to love one another as ourselves. At first, I brushed it off--because how easy is it to follow this command? How can we possibly love everyone? But then Lewis made a couple of really good points.

First, he compared our love for others to the love that we have for ourselves. Try as you might, you must admit that you love yourself. Now understand, though, that love is different from like. You may not like yourself because of the behavior that you exude, but you feel shame every time that you mess up because you love yourself enough and you know deep down that you can be better.

Now, in the same way, we need to love one another. Even if the person we are having a tough time showing love to we don't particularly like, we can still love them for who they are--a child of God. This is where the common phrase, "Hate the sin, but love the sinner" comes into play.

How do we love someone we don't like, you may ask. The answer is this (and this was Lewis's second point): If we act as if we love them by showing them kindness, then eventually, we will learn to love that person. If we showed hatred towards them and were mean to them every chance we got, then the opposite would happen and we would learn to despise that person.

"This is my commandment that you love one another, that you're joy may be in full."

Walk Like Enoch

Has anyone ever gone on a walk just to get their mind straight? Maybe you've been thinking about stuff or you've been stressed and you went for a walk just to think or maybe pray and get things straight in your head. Back in October, I did this one time when I was feeling really alone here at school and now that it's warm out I would like to do it again. Things are stressing me out so bad right now that I just need that quiet time with God and with nature.

Tonight, I got to walk to the library and it was misty and a little chilly out. Unfortunately, I had my iPod blasting in my ears and I wasn't able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the night. If I were to once take off my ear buds and listen to the chirping of the crickets and enjoy the nostalgic smell of the cows down the hill, then I might learn more than I would sitting in class earlier today.

No Running Water

There's something poetic and refreshing about waking up to a freshly watered earth. After endless snow for months, the rain has finally come to take it away for good and to bring up the green in the earth again and it feels good.

Last night, while it was pouring, I wanted to go outside and just soak up the rain perhaps in an attempt to refresh my life. Now, I could just go into the shower and relax in the hot water and come out feeling reguvenated in the same way. But I suppose as a metaphor, I, like the ground outside, wish to grow into something new--to get a fresh start somehow from the entanglement that I've gotten myself into. It feels as though I've been relaxing in the "steam of the hot water" washing myself when all of a sudden the water runs out and I am stuck with the soap stuck to my body and drying fast. I panic and look for a near water source to rinse off but can find none.

In a few weeks, I will be done with my classes for this school year and I will get this chance to start over in a way. But will a new location and new surroundings mean a fresh start for me? Where does this new life begin? Does it come from my own determination? Does it come from divine inspiration?

Andrews University Nursing Program

Who would've thought that by going into the Gazebo to get a burger, that I would come out with my future to think about? My friend, Kendra, who was in my English Composition class last semester, was working the sub-bar on this particular night and we got to talking about our futures (don't ask me how). I knew from talking with her the previous semester that she had gone to La Sierra University in Southern California and that she didn't particularly care for it. She wasn't sure what to do with her life but she knew that she didn't belong where she was. She put the decision in God's hands and asked Him to make it clear without a shadow of a doubt where He wanted her to go.

Low and behold, one day she was cleaning off some clutter on a desk at her job and uncovered a pamphlet with the words, "Andrews University Nursing Program." She didn't conclude her story, but the expression on her face said that God had indeed answered her call and that it was then that she knew where she had to go.

When I heard her testimony, I was envious. I have asked God for such signs many times before and have found that they usually don't return any results and so I have given up the "Gideon approach." It would be so nice if God gave me a pamphlet to tell me where and what I should with my life. I had known at one time, or so I thought. But recently, so many doors have been opened with the decision I've made to part from Architecture. And it is because of this decision that has recently caused so much stress in my life.

God? Life is a Mystery

I'm watching the George Lopez show on t.v. right now. The episode is about his son's dog--the dog gets a tumor in his stomach and the vet tells them that it's going to take a miracle for the dog to live. Both George and his son make promises to God that if the dog is cured of this cancer, they will perform a certain degrading task of some sort. George, who hates the dog, is infuriated when he finds the dog has been miraculously healed from his ailments. He must now fulfill his promise to God. But does he? He does not.

How many times have we made promises to people that we can't keep or don't really want to keep because it'll some how inconvenience us. How often do we as humans promise God that we will "be good" if we receive something in return? The United States isn't the one that is in the most debt right now. The human race owes so much to God because of these unfulfilled promises that we have made Him.

I have recently been debating between two different colleges to attend. They both have their pros and cons, but one stands out more than the other. I've talked with God about it--I have asked Him, "If you want me to go in either direction, you need to make is somehow clear to me--open doors where Your will leads so that my mind can rest." He hasn't revealed anything spectacular as of yet, but I'm still waiting for his guiding hand to show itself.

The question that I have is this: When He does reveal what He would like me to do (and I am confident that He will show His will in due time), how willing will I be to follow? Will I have enough trust in His infinite wisdom to grow into the person He wants me to be? I am afraid that I may let my own reasons and my own aspirations get in the way of of His ultimate authority and will. I pray that I will not.